The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am, he said, I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain, Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed; I've been expecting you.
Have you really? said the photographer. Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?
Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.
After a moment she asked, blushing, Well, where do we start? Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun.
You can really spread out there.
Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!
Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.
My, that's a lot! gasped Mrs. Smith.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. This was done on the top of a bus, he said.
Oh my God! Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.
She was difficult? asked Mrs. Smith. Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.
Four and five deep? said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
Yes, the photographer replied. And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. Do you mean they actually chewed on your,.. um.. equipment?
It's true, Ma'am yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away. Tripod?
Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long. With that, Mrs. Smith fainted............
I was bored.....so I played this for a while.... Had to get back to work or else.. I am sure i would have killed a few more characters kekeke... Posted this as a comment for dragon79 too....Just to piss him off.....*grinz*
I escaped from the Dungeon of Neu!
I killed Jooles the arch-demon, Cowie the kobold, Stingerx the goblin, Pamilyn the troll, Tednef the goblin, Skl123 the rat, Tyanz the leprechaun, Nude Gabriel the giant spider, Jaz Aug the mind flayer and Pinkpromqueen the giant spider.
I looted the Axe of Internet, a Figurine of Daaw, a Figurine of Aihara, a Figurine of Shining Tree, the Dagger of Littleprince, the Wand of Mp3s, the Amulet of Musicals, the Sword of Queer As Folk, the Shield of Copperbadge, the Armour of Psychicallergy, the Sword of D4n13l, a Figurine of Wolfegod, the Wand of Typography and 155 gold pieces.
Not been posting much.....and luckily havent been removed from anyone'e friend's list yet...Hehehehe.....
Well I turned 26 this month......and I gotta say..... it no longer feels like it takes forever to get older........Half the year's almost gone too and I cant remember if i have met any of my resolutions.......better go check on it....cant even remember most of it....
Anyway been busy with work as usual and yep... stilll with the same boss.......and i dunno if I will change that soon.....review coming up anyway.......
Of course... I have been catching up with soccer too and so far no upsets......though I wanna see Brazil out soon......cause it's time for a new champion la.......
Better sleep now.....early day tomorrow......Nights.......
Now.... if someone sang this version at Singapore Idol.... i would so vote for him/her....
I WILL SURVIVE
At first I was afraid, I was petrified, When you said you had 10 inches Lord, I almost died. But I'd spent so many nights just waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are, Another lie! I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry. I should have known it was so small, Just a sad pathetic dream, Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go, Walk out the door, Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4, Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't notice it pop out, Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?
I will survive, I will survi-ive, Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex. I will survive, I will survive. . hey, hey!
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud, When I saw your little wiener standing small and proud. But too bad about your ego and to Hell with all your needs! Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed
Go on now go, Just make a dash, Last time I saw a dick that small I was treating diaper rash! I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for pictures, please! Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winkie thing at me.
Go on now go, Just hit the track, Don't you bring me home no little worm, I'll always throw them back. The only thing that I could do with a dick as small as yours, Is to stick it with a tooth pick And then call it an hors d'oeuvre!
I will survive, I will survi-ive, Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex. I will survive, I will survive. . .hey, hey!
Go on now go, Get out of my sight, I'm going back to my appliance, Cuz I know it's length is right, And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door, You'll be counting your 4 inches as you pick them off the floor. Go on now Go!
my journal's been rather inactive...... been so tied up with work that I hardly have time to post although I do log in to read up on what's happening to my friends......
nothing interesting to write about lately.....although I did go to BKK again and this time I actually went shopping like an auntie and bargained for lower prices like my life depended on it......and it was fun..... and I think I wanna go back again......
anyway its 730 days but not yet 2 years.......I love potato......